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Sometimes people will search for a method to end their lives quickly and painlessly and there are answers, but know that none of them is really painless.
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Alicia

Age:28  Editor

On EnkiVeryWell over 8 years

Begin a day with a simile and end it with another—— happy and healthy for the whole life!
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  • anotherMay.28 02:33
    Im too old for this. All methods of suicide include alot of pain, since you deal with your heart stopping. That shit really hurts. As depressed as i am, im just sick of my situation. Im a pathetic human. This pestilent existence. I kno i can be better, especially if i had better friends. Especially if society had better jobs, more manufacturing instead of slave wages. I dont want to conform anymore, anc quite frankly, i am very fucking depressed. Too many failires, the years eat away my loss of teenage memories. Adulthood and i have nothing to be proud of. I would rather die now. I feel like i almost died this year, two hospital visits, i didnt even pray to god. only in the morning , my second visit i regretted and repented after. But then i dont really believe. I have no purpose. But its not about me. All i have are first world problems, they could cross somewhere between 2nd once i deal with keeping a lasting lasting employment. I always fucking lose. Only after so many years i break from this sleep of depression, for that moment of time ive lived this past couple years, ive felt the most happiness, and the most sadness. Because ive realized that im intelligent but this darkness quells me. I feel like dying. I not afraid to die. I have enough pain. i hate pain. I hate living.
    Reply
  • anotherMay.28 02:50
    All you 18 and20 year olds and younger. I give you a warning. Dont become like me. You have time, get your education and study hard. Even ifyou start ur undergrad around 22. Older folks have harder situstions. You youngins need to grow some thick skin. Bullies? Lousy parents? Forget their bullshit. You dont want my problems. and eveyone else is just fucking stupid. They are incoherent arrogant, ignorant tards. Even if they provide for you. just take their shit, dont talk back, be mindful of the fact they are mentally disabled. Dont let your mind absorb othrr peoples stupid thinking. Grow from it, think for yourself. do not let 9thers tell you what you can and cannot do. Dont become like me. Do everything for yourself, but be mindful of other peoples selfness. Be your own best friend, to your body. Change your habits, speak a clean tongue so that people around you are more attracted to kind, noble and smooth words. Study your langusge, master your comunication. Justfucking speak, make errors, feel stupid and grow from the badness that you have. You will improve. but dont let it subside. Remember who is the most important person in your liFe. YOU ARE dont become like me. i am hurt in so many ways, my eyes do not water anymore. I have nothing to be proud of. I am the worst to look up to. I realize the wrong that ive done. Realize that u have time. You can correct it.
    Reply
  • Kymi118May.28 07:14
    I'm 15 and I have been so heavily bullied since I was in first grade I have moved everywhere and done a lot off things to try and take the pain away like pot and drinking I am finally at the point where I have hurt so bad constantly for 3 years and I'm just done I don't want to be living or breathing anymore I want to give up and it's so hard not to I want help but no one cares enough to listen and I don't know how long I can pretend to be happy
    Reply
  • TheDonBeeglezMay.31 00:40
    @ : i'll listen dude, email me. [email protected] im 29 but I understand.
    Reply
  • Bastile May.28 07:32
    Well I'm 20! Everything has been messed up lately! I used to have lots of friends! A girl who Loved me endlessly! I had a happy life! After high school I decided to come back to U.S for college! For past 2 years I studied hard and well yea last month i just recieved an email that I got accepted to UCLA but what did i get besides that!? Nothing! All my friends are back home.. I lost my girlfriend and basically everything changed! People I met here seemed to be super fake and annoying! I've tried so hard to change everything in past two years but it just didnt work out! I have friends but not real friends! I need someone to share all thsese pain but I can't open up myself bc as soon as i say something they gonna judge me for that.. Im just tired.. Really tired
    Reply
  • LarryMay.28 18:25
    I m 18 , and will turn 18 this August -if I make it - and I m seriously fed up of all the bullshit in my life . My entire life , I hardly remember any happiness . from the age of 4 my father only thought of me as a burden and never really was there when I needed him . My mom was there but even she thought of me as a burden . I don't like being called names by my own parents and told by them how worthless and useless I am . And how my brothers are way better than me . My father is a drunk , womaniser and a sadist . My mom is using me for her own benefit . My parents are divorced and they both think of me as a burden . The mental torture that I get and the threats I get that if I don't succeed , I will be killed by my own parents . And also my mother attempted to kill me once as well . For 18 years I have been living a life full of fear , sorrow and hatred . I have no idea what love is or how to give love to others . I always search for websites like these to find a solution to this problem and end this misery of mine . I m always fake and I have no happiness in my life . Not even an ounce of it . I just felt like sharing this with all of u guys that even though I find ways to kill myself , I m still alive and surviving my own self . So if it makes a difference , try to find a solution to ur problem first and if u can't find one then u may consider this option .
    Reply
  • janeMay.30 23:22
    @ : Larry look I get what you are going through that is whathe happends to me. And just saying I wanted to die as well but I have moved on. What I'm trying to say is don't try to kill yourself it will skrew you up I'm serious. Just keep on living and things will change for the better I promise
    Reply
  • MaganMay.31 02:40
    @ : hi
    Reply
  • RnagJohnCenaAug.4 23:58
    @ : Hey Magan
    Reply
  • thatguyMay.29 00:11
    I'm 20. I am never happy either, I have a good family, they support me, and I'm not bragging but we have always been good financially. But none of it ever mattered to me. I was kinda happy until me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up. After that i got really depressed, hating myself, turned to drugs, started shooting up, doing really about anything to help ease my mind. I live in Lexington now with my buddy from high school, but I am still never happy. Seems like I can never get ahead at anything and something is always going wrong. I hate life, and I really just want to die. I do think of what it would be like for my family sometimes but I can continue living like this, miserable. I just hate always being depressed, nor being able to eat, just lay around all day and never want to do anything besides drugs it seems like anymore, but that is the only thing that helps my mind. I try playing my guitar and smoking alot of weed, but nothing. Fuck it. I really am done. Just want to find an easy, not messy, non painful way to go out. At the time i don't own a gun, but i am contemplating next paycheck on going to a pawn shop and buying one, shotgun to be sure. I'm sure it should be pretty quick and easy. Any other suggestions, let me know.
    Reply
  • ReaperJun.1 03:50
    @ : Hey buddy, don't give up yet. U see, u got a family that supports u and that means a lot. Trust me. U just need to figure up the mess around you which by the way has been created by u. And yeah, about ur girlfriend - Really dude?? U r gonna give the lease of ur life to a girl? U r better than that. So y not u give it a honest try one last time and if it fails, then I will probably buy a gun for u...
    Reply
  • chrisMay.29 01:38
    I have been bullied and physically beaten throughout my school life. I only had 3 proper friends in that time of my life. one moved away and I watched the other 2 take there own lives. The one who moved away was killed by a shark of the coast of Australia. When I was in Cape Town I was surrounded by religious fanatics who decided it would be fun to stone me because I'm different I woke up 3 days later in the hospital with a fractured skull and more cuts and bruises than one can count. And to top it all of the only person I have ever loved abandoned me at the time I probably needed them the most. I have never talked to my family about any of this they have no idea I admit suicide can sometimes seem like the best option but this is incorrect. There is so much still to live for remember not everyone is judge mental and if your still in school I can tell you it only gets better because children and teenagers are the worst kinds of people in the world and once reality hits them they will go tumbling down while you will be stronger and be able to hold your head up high. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ? Albert Einstein
    Reply
  • ViriMay.29 04:18
    I'm 14 years old and I don't want to live anymore. I just have too many problems, I feel so alone, I tried taking antidepressants but they don't seem to work. I'm bipolar and I just can't see myself ever being happy.
    Reply
  • NicoleMay.30 07:46
    I'm only 14 and I've never been happy since my parents broke up 5 years ago. I cried every night until now, not because they broke up but because of summing up my personal problems. I'll be waking up with my eyes swollen. I never had real friends. I was always cyber bullied. I have insomnia and I have a strong phobia of being alone. My mother said that I was no use in our family. That she'd kill me. And during my birthday, 6 days ago, it was the worst birthday ever. I had no gifts, we only ordered a small cake, and a small order of noodles. They barely notice or talk to me. Every day my mother would come to me and yell at me for things that I didnt do. My younger brother always have gifts from her work while I have her tantrums. I've thought of committing suicidal a lot of times but I also thought that committing suicide is for cowards who cant face their problems. I really have no one. No friends. I cant even feel my family's love for me. Sometimes I find myself talking on my own. My teachers hated me. And every time I look at myself in front of a tall mirror I notice every flaw that I have. I have lice, lots of dandruffs, frizzy hair, fat arms and belly, thin wrists, ugly and dirty fingernails (hands and feet) ugly bulbous arms and legs, dried tan skin, acne all over my face, yellow teeth with cavity, chicken skin on my armpits, thick-ugly eyebrows. And I'm only 143 cm tall but I weigh 43 kg. And I'm not all girly girly, I feel uncomfortable wearing dresses. I dont have much clothes so I wear the same ones every time I go out of my house. I was always hurt. And I really, really wanna die. At this time I'm in my room crying and I have prepared a goodbye note to my family. I have a large carving knife sitting on my bed. So yeah.. And I was thinking of burning charcoal in my room with the windows closed so I'd die peacefully.
    Reply
  • Some guyJun.1 22:46
    @ : Fuck her why would she get married and make kids in the first place if she wouldn't raise them properly those people deserve to rot in hell for being such selfish assholes
    Reply
  • SosoMay.30 16:06
    My life is horrible. I get good grades, and I never ask my mom for anything. I always see other people who enjoy their life so much, and love their family. But I don't. Everyday my mom calls me names and abuses me. I put on a smile around my friends because they genuinely make me happy, and I dread going home everyday. My mom makes me do everything around the house, and when I do one thing wrong, hell breaks loose. I try to find happiness, but I just can't. Numerous times I've tried to end it, but I just can't bring pain to myslef.
    Reply
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