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Sometimes people will search for a method to end their lives quickly and painlessly and there are answers, but know that none of them is really painless.
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Alicia

Age:28  Editor

On EnkiVeryWell over 8 years

Begin a day with a simile and end it with another—— happy and healthy for the whole life!
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  • kaziahAug.10 18:01
    I tried suicide like 3 or 4 times,the first one was overdose of pills then it didn't work,I mean absolutely nothing happened the same goes for the acid and poison.I did all this because I felt tired,lonely and rejected. I have no one who loves me for who I am.since it didn't work I decided to give up on suicide and just live the life I have now,I hope things get better for me and all of you having difficulties in life.
    Reply
  • Esther OliverAug.10 23:47
    The truth of the matter is I have felt this way. The reason I wont opt out is because I adore my children and grandchildren. They would miss me I know. I don't want to blemish and already dysfunctional family. Be that as it may, we are not the only family with issues. Most families have problems. though I get really depressed without sufficient money and a loving partner. my family doesn't deserve to lose me in that manner so I will hold on.....loneliness can kill you though. Slowly. This is why suicide appears to be the better choice but it isn't. Read and make meetings!
    Reply
  • Briana Vega Aug.11 00:17
    My mom is having a baby and it's ganna be a girl. She is already having money struggles and I know we won't be able to get as much things like cloths and even food. This will be child number 7 and she expects me to be happy for her. I want to die because we barely get food now and I already no that we probably won't get food and I'm hungry. But any ways I'm ganna be the middle child in all and the middle girl in the family. My dad means everything to me because I'm his only girl (not for long). He means everything to me and I mean everything to him I'm even his lock screen and favorite child . But I'm scared that he will loose his love for me and my mom will too. but I'm more scared that my dad won't love Me as much and won't care for what I do. My mom wants me to be in the room when she has the baby. No one is happy about her having the baby besides the people who don't know her money struggles. I'm just tired of life and I know it's short but why not make it shorter. A lot of girls bully me at school but no one believes me. My birthday went bye and no one said happy birthday to me at school because no one cared . A lot of people make fun of me because I'm fat and tell me to kill myself so why not just listen to them? People will say be glad to be alive and be glad that God woke me up this morning but I wish he would just take me to heaven with him. My biggest fear is death but I can't take living anymore
    Reply
  • KatieAug.11 04:36
    I can't be with the guy I love evey adult says your to young to love you know nothing about love well I do so I would rather die than be without him I love him I cry at night saying why do I have to love him why not anyone else why him but I find reasons why I love him and he's worth dying for I would die for him over and over and then over again what do you think should I die and see him and be with in sport or never see him again and be miserable and sad which one ???
    Reply
  • ArtAug.11 05:24
    Tried strangulation, it was too hard and painful to go through I think I will have to jump off a fucking cliff but i'm scared as hell I seriously wish I had a gun at hand.
    Reply
  • LGBT92Aug.11 08:59
    I wish I could do it.
    Reply
  • AbcdefgAug.11 11:52
    I'm 14, and I get verbally, and sometimes physically abused by my parents. They tell me everyday that I'm a horrible person and that it reflects on their life as well. I'm just done with it.
    Reply
  • Berri SAug.11 20:21
    I want to die as well. I have no job, no skills to get a decent job. No money to pay for an education. Cant get a loan to pay for an education because i defaulted on a loan when I was younger. (Im generally a fuck up) No way to support myself. No car. No friends. One aunt that cares about me but thats it. My mother and sister have made it abundantly clear that they could give a fuck. Things are headed downhill with my husband and once hes gone, then what? I dont even blame him. It feels utterly hopeless. But Im also a coward. If only there was a magic button to just push and die. I did halfass try slitting wrist and pills before but the wrist hurt too much and the pills werent enough I guess. Pity.
    Reply
  • girlage12Aug.11 21:15
    I just wan't to let go
    Reply
  • VincentAug.12 06:15
    Well, I don't know what can beat what I have been through in my life and actually I don't care anymore. Yep this comes from a guy that does volunteer work at 50 years old. No. 1 I was born in the wrong body, I am a women born in the a man's body. Both sexually and mentally. Never got diagnosed, I simply knew from the start of my life ( that I remember). Don't need a specialist to tell me that. Comes in the bullying and beating in school. Got out of that barely, then moved into society as a gay man. no. 2 My life was rather smooth until I got HIV late 80's. No cure then, and had to just deal with it and this is what I did. Medication came along, with major side effects. But I am fighter. Met a good gay man. Found out he was having sex behind my back for 8 years. I broke up with him. Not a very good move, I know, today. This guy loved me, really, which is usually the case of the men who screw around. Of course damn pride comes in the way. I'm only 36 and still can meet other people and maybe start a new life. Which I did. No. 3 Experienced a lot of good moments, met fun guys, until I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at age 46. Had to give up on my rather well paid job ($100K per year). At first, I say I count myself lucky because I have disability insurance. (60% after taxes, ok if if you're not working). I know it can be worse if you don't have anything at all. But I am still able to travel a bit, go a out a bit, My sex life was going down fast (MS symptom). Other symptoms setting in, difficulty walking, lack of energy. no. 4 Boyfriend at the time with whom I was living with for 7 years, developed cocaine addiction. He had to move out and go bankrupt. Still friends with but nonetheless hard to live. no. 5 Father, a year later, or a few months ago I found dead in his bed unexpectedly. I am the executor of the estate ( not Bill Gate's btw). Dealt with that, too. I loved him also all a lot. Along with all the people I have in my life that I have lost; My Mom when I was 26 then, first boyfriend from AIDS when I was 27. Donald, (1st real boyfriend) when I was 38, the one who cheated on me. Dan, second boyfriend at age 49 when he a cocaine addiction and moved out. Today, don't have anymore energy to deal with all this life is throwing at me anymore. I am alone now, nobody to look after me, no more energy to meet anybody. What I have now still is; brandy (a lower grade Cognac) which makes me somewhat happy but disrupts my daily life (volunteer work, meeting the friends I have left, etc.), a roof over my head for now and at least for the next 10 years I think. Really, what is my life still living for?
    Reply
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