A guy who talks about his ex all the time can shake even the healthiest relationship. The talk makes you feel confused, insecure and jealous. Your response to your boyfriend talking about his ex will depend on how deeply the talk worries you and how often he brings it up. What does it mean when your boyfriend keeps talking about his ex to you? How can you tell if he is over his ex or not? Here are some suggestions.
When a Guy Talks About His Ex to You, What Does It Mean?
This is a red flag
A man may talk to you about his ex because he did not have closure and is still hoping to reunite with the ex. Such a man is not emotionally available because he is still in love with the ex, which is a red flag. The best move is to break up with such a man and allow him to go back to the ex.
This is a yellow flag
Some men talk about their exes even when they do not intend to go back to them. A divorced man may talk to you about his ex on the first date or call. He probably is still angry and wants you to know he was hurt, lost his money and dignity, or was cheated on. This is a yellow flag. The man has baggage to deal with and it can be draining to listen to his negativity about his ex. However, he can get over it if you talk to him about it.
Test the waters
When a guy talks about his ex to you, it is advisable to speak out instead of waiting out. Remain positive and focus your conversation on the present or future and not his past. Watch out if a man wants to remain in the past, if he pays attention to you, or if he makes you feel special in any way. He may be dating you for comfort but does not intend to build a long-term relationship with you.
More Signs He Is Not Over His Ex
He still has negative feelings about her
Wounds from past relationships sting occasionally but the negative emotions should fade away with time. If a man is still talking about how the ex hurts him, he may be trying to prove to himself that he is not in love with her while in fact he actually is.
He is sad about the past relationship
It is okay for a man to mourn about his relationship right after a breakup but not when he is in another relationship. If he is still depressed about it, he is not over it. You may end up in a rebound, which is unhealthy and less than what you deserve.
She is his best female friend
It is normal to become friends with a former partner but not within a year or even months after the breakup. A man should spend his personal time building his new relationship with you. If a man is always reaching out to the ex as his best friend, consider that as a red flag.
He says you are better than her
When a guy talks about his ex to you and compares you to her, he may still be in love with her. Telling you that you are better than her may be a compliment. However, he does not need to make such comparisons if he is really over her.
He does not allow you to meet his old friends
Your boyfriend should be excited about sharing his whole world with you, which includes his old friends. If he is still in love with the ex, he will keep you away from the old friends he shared with her. He may connect and keep in touch with old friends hoping to reconnect with her.
He still spends time with her family
It is possible that your boyfriend was close to his ex's family but he must give up the relationships if he is serious about you. He may be trying to win her back by attending dinner parties or football games with her family.
He still has her personal belongings
Some people keep certain stuff from their exes like their comfy sweater or T-shirt. Be worried if your man is hanging onto a load of his ex’s personal belongings. If he is not willing to give them away, he is very likely still stuck in his past.
He always checks her social media profiles
Your boyfriend’s phone or computer can give you some clues. If the browsing history shows that he visits her blog, Twitter, Instagram or Facebook often, he probably is not over her. Initiate a conversation about it if he visits her pages more than once a week.
He is jealous of her new relationship
When a guy talks about his ex to you and seems angry that she is in a new happy relationship, he is still in love with her. If he is happy and satisfied with you, her new relationship should not bother him at all.