Movies give us suggestions on the right time to start having sex with a new guy and you have the freedom to choose the first time. It can be five minutes after meeting the guy or you can decide to wait until marriage. However, no matter what your choice is, you must ask important questions way before getting into bed to ensure that both of you are physically and emotionally prepared.
Questions to Ask Before Sex
Are you married or in a committed relationship?
Whether you are having a casual or committed relationship, you should ask a guy if he is seeing or married to someone else. You should know beforehand which kind of situation you will get yourself into by sleeping with him. A guy may not tell you upfront that he is in another relationship or married if he wants to sleep with you. However, he is likely to be honest if you put him on the spot.
Do you communicate with your ex?
If a guy tells you that his relationship ended before meeting you, find out if he is still in touch with his ex. Get as many details as you probably can about his past relationship. If he was respectful to his past ex girlfriend or wife, he is likely to respect you. Introducing the topic may be a little awkward because people do not like talking about their past relationships. But you can start by giving your history. The other person may feel compelled to share their story.
Do I want to see him again?
You must be very honest with yourself when starting any relationship. Ask yourself if you are comfortable having a casual relationship. If you can handle one, then go ahead, sleep with him and enjoy the moment. Otherwise, wait until both of you are ready and willing to start a serious relationship.
When is the last time you took a HIV test?
A serious guy should be committed to taking regular tests and sharing the results with his partners. Be worried if a guy responds to this question with “recently” and continues to make sexual advances. Evading the question or trying to brush it off is another red flag. Be extremely cautious before having sex with him.
Are you comfortable using condoms every time we have sex?
This is one of the basic questions to ask before sex yet many people ignore it or are too scared to ask. Many guys are reluctant to use condoms especially if they have been in a serious relationship where they didn’t need to use condoms. Ask him if he is willing to use condoms with you. Bear in mind asking in the heat of the moment might be too late and awkward.
Are you using any birth control method?
This question may seem traditional but ignoring it is one of the major causes of unwanted pregnancies. A man must ask if a woman is using the birth control pills or any other method especially if she is willing to have sex without a condom. If you are not ready for parental responsibilities, ask about birth control way before thinking about sleeping with your new partner.
What is your idea of good sex?
People have different sexual preferences. Rough sex may be enjoyable to some people while others find it too violent. Ask your partner about his or her boundaries. The parameters should be acceptable to both parties for sex to be enjoyable. Crossing your partner’s boundary will spoil the mood. Performance anxiety is a leading cause of bad sexual performance. Talking about sex prepares both parties and reduces anxiety.
What do I expect from the relationship?
One of the important questions to ask before sex is the expectations from the relationship and sexual encounter. Many times people are disappointed because they do not set their expectations beforehand. Whether you set high or low expectations, be prepared to deal with the likely scenario that your partner will not meet your expectations. Be realistic about the possibility of having a long-term relationship with someone you just met and slept with.
Questions Girls Wish They Could Ask Before Sex
Are you lying about the number of girls you have slept with?
Most girls do not believe when a guy says he has slept with a certain number of people. They are always wondering if the actual number is more or less.
How long does it take to learn how to remove a bra?
Women wonder why majority of men struggle with bras. Do women make it too easy for them by helping them remove their bras?
How will you react if I don’t get wet within five minutes?
Some guys get frustrated if a girl takes long to get wet and take it personally. No woman wants to be in bed with such a guy.
Do you go down on girls?
This is one of the odd yet fundamental questions to ask before sex. It helps you know what to expect and do in bed.
Have you practiced oral sex?
It takes many hours of practice to become an expert in oral sex. Girls wish to sleep with guys who are good at it.
Are you circumcised?
Circumcision is a big deal for women. They want to be mentally and physically prepared for whatever skin situation a man has.
Do you discuss your sexual encounters with your friends?
No girl wants to feature in a man’s tale about his adventures and achievements in bed.