We think of sociopaths as the rapists and serial killers that we see on the news at six o’clock. But don't forget the fact that sociopaths are real and common people, and that they may be our family members, colleagues, neighbors, or even our soul mates. Sociopaths are manipulating and charming. They appear well-groomed but hide lies and secrets. They use many superlatives to control and woo their partners at early stages of an intimate relationship.
So Is My Boyfriend a Sociopath?
He says the perfect thing in every situation
A sociopath knows the right thing to say in every situation. He does not do so accidentally but on purpose and enjoys it. He intends to woo you and keep you under his spell with his words. A sociopath is witty, calculated, charming, and romantic. A sociopath may even watch a movie or read a book to get the right words to say to you. He will go to such extents to please you and then nag you with theories that you are cheating on him.
He gets away with lies
Your boyfriend may be a sociopath if he tells you what you want to hear and always have a way of escape from his web of lies. His reasons sound like the only possible explanation to the situation. He lies in style and with conviction. He is an emotional puppeteer who can make you believe that the absurd is normal.
He is frustrated when he cannot figure you out
Is my boyfriend a sociopath if he always studies me? Chances are that he is a sociopath. No self-respecting man will spend all his time trying to read his girlfriend’s psychological underpinnings. Watch out if he is always asking how you feel after an argument and trying to describe your personality. Sociopath reads too deep into things. And he may be super creepy and carefree at times. He may be observing your actions only for him to use them against you later!
He is a good actor
Sociopaths are so persuasive with their emotions that it is almost impossible to differentiate between crazy and normal emotions. They can mimic emotions and pretend to be someone else like a professional actor. Besides, a sociopath has narcissistic tendencies. He rehearses how to make other people believe that he loves you or that he is angry or sad. However, do know that not all actors are sociopaths.
He lacks a range of emotions
A sociopath does not feel anything. He studies how people are expected to react in certain situations and then reacts that way. He is always calculating his reaction. For instance, in case he does not know how to react to an argument, he may leave the room to figure out the best move. He will come back with a plan on how to attack you.
He confesses his love for you too soon
If you are struggling with the question, “Is my boyfriend a sociopath?” here is another sign. He probably told you he loves you a week after you met. This alone is not enough to identify a sociopath but it is a red flag when mixed with other signs. Note that saying that he loves you does not mean he is showing real emotions because a sociopath does not know how love feels like.
He gets angry when you catch him off-guard
A sociopath does not like being exposed. For instance, he gets angry if you ask something when he feels stressed and cannot think of the right response or reaction. He does not want you to damage his picture-perfect image that he has spent so much time creating. Watch out if he blows up after feeling exposed and then apologizes immediately. He will give a lame excuse and promise you that it will never happen again.
He acts like it is you versus him
Chances are that your boyfriend is a sociopath if he acts as if it is you versus him instead of both of you versus the world. A sociopath must take control of the situation at all times and have the last word. Your man may be a sociopath if he cannot trust you, accuses you of lies when you are telling the truth, and insists that you do not mean it when you tell him that you love him.
You go through a swooning process
A sociopath thrives at and lives for the swooning process. Your relationship progresses like a plotline of a novel. He enjoys manipulating and molding your mind like a chess game. He enjoys the chase and challenge. He does not use sexual impulses but you will feel like he is trying to make you fall in love with him.
You call him a sociopath
If you call your boyfriend a sociopath and he stares at you, says that you are probably right and then laughs, he is probably one. If this has happened more than once, then you need to stop wondering, “Is my boyfriend a sociopath?” You already have the answer.
You find something odd about him
It is difficult to figure out people and love. You cannot tell a person has an antisocial personality disorder until you get to know them well. You may not know you are dating a sociopath until it is too late. However, trust your gut if it tells you he is too good to be true. You may want to ask for an unbiased opinion from a good friend.
Other signs of a sociopath boyfriend
An enormous ego: he acts like and tells you that he is the smartest, most successful and richest person;
Overly attentive: he wants to talk to you and be with you all the time;
A changing personality;
Blaming others for his problems even when it is his fault;
Intense eye contact or a predatory stare;
He wants you to feel sorry for his miserable past and problems;
He makes you feel intensely attracted to him;
Arrogance and unlawful behavior;
Aggression: he gets irritated fast and engages in constant physical fights;
He engages in risky and thrilling behaviors such as engaging in sexual promiscuity without protection.