Thea and her husband had no friends when they relocated to Los Angeles a couple of years ago. Her husband was her best friend but the sex and spark in their marriage were gone. Thea had an affair on dating sites in search of romance and company. She got the attention and affection that her husband was not giving her. In modern society, the main reasons for infidelity include sexual addiction, revenge, the excitement of sexual novelty, and boredom. Men look for attention and more sex, while women try to fill an emotional void.
Is It OK to Cheat on Your Husband?
The answer to this question is no for marriage should be sacred and pure. People should keep their promises, especially the important ones. If they fail to do this, then why make those promises at the first place. Besides, spouses should support and trust each other. They should not do anything that would shake the foundation of their marriage. The argument saying that cheating and keeping secrets will lead to a happy marriage is wrong and absurd. Marriage has no meaning if the happiest moments are when spouses are away from each other.
However, marriage, love, and affairs are complicated. Sometimes you may feel suffocated in your marriage, especially if your husband is neglecting or worse abusing you but still doesn't let you go. Even if you may not want to cheat on your husband, in such times many people might consider cheating as a possible way to feel secure, loved and happy again.
Things to Consider Before Cheating on Your Husband
You have the say
Your body will get curious when you see a cute colleague but you have the power to choose when to act on it or ignore the impulse. For instance, you can choose to stay or leave when left alone in a room with your crush. Decide if satisfying your desires is more important than a long-term relationship with your spouse. Try to control your impulses to save you and your partner from grief.
Your partner will forgive but will never forget
You may manage to move on after cheating but your partner will never forget about it. You can argue that it was a one-time thing but your partner will always think that you can do it again. Your spouse will be rightfully more suspicious of you. Do not be surprised if your partner brings up the issue now and then. Do not expect him or her to forget.
Cheating has consequences
Cheating has a lasting effect on those who have been cheated on. It affects their future relationships as well. For example, cheating can lead to escalated trust issues and make your spouse vulnerable in similar situation. Your spouse becomes susceptible to triggers that he or she did not know about. The paranoia never ends. Cheating does not end but haunts the partner in ways that the cheater cannot imagine.
Be prepared to own up to it
When things come to light, is it okay to cheat on your husband and deny it? Sugarcoating cheating makes the situation worse. Be transparent about it and give the most important details such as when the affair started and how long it lasts. Do not leave out any details for later. Think of it as a choice between twisting a knife in the abdomen or a straight jab to the heart. Your husband will suffer either way. Own up the act you committed.
Cheat is not an easy way to end your relationship
If you are asking the question “Is it okay to cheat on your husband?” then it may be time to end your relationship. People seek the easiest way out of a bad relationship and consider cheating as the right way. Maybe you will get what you want and even try to rationalize your action, but cheating is pathetic, cowardly and disrespectful for yourself and for your partner. Just get ready and courageously face the end of your relationship.
Besides, cheating solves nothing in a relationship, but creates more problems. Building a good relationship takes time and hard work. So do not waste time in one if you are not willing to give it your all.
Five Stories of Wives Cheating on Their Husbands
When you are abused
50-year-old Elizabeth Smith knew from the start that marrying her husband was a mistake. He was controlling and abusive, and expected her to stay at home and take care of him. Cheating made her realize that she can live independent of her husband. It gave her courage to divorce him.
Note: When you are in a abusive relationship, you should seek help from therapists, trusted family members, friends, support groups or relative agencies. Cheating in most of the cases is not the resolution.
When you resent each other
28-year-old Vanessa Myers says that her husband started resenting her when she changed her mind about having kids. Resentment led to constant fights and hurt. Their sex life ended when she caught her husband trying to remove the condom. Since her husband is reluctant to divorce, so she had an online affair for a year, which ended when her husband caught her. This leads to huge conflicts and fights. Of course, they go separate ways, but there are deep scars in their hearts.
Note: Couples should always pursue open and honest communication, work together to make up things when one part messes up. Even if breakup is inevitable, do it peacefully to make this hard situation easier on both sides.
When boredom and unhappiness attack
Barbara Gisborne had a loving husband, Wisconsin, and two children at 35 years of old. However, she was bored and did not fit in her community in America. She met an Australian man named Bob and had an instant connection. She flew to Australia hoping to end the relationship but ended up really getting further involved with Bob.
Note: This tells us that couples, even those happy ones, should communicate regularly about their needs and feelings and change life patterns sometimes for a better and long-lasting relationship.
When he is workaholic
Is it okay to cheat on your husband if he is a workaholic? Barbara Singer is a 49-year-old woman who stayed with her workaholic husband for 10 years. She ended up cheating on him because he was never around. She ended her marriage a few weeks into her affair and remarried after two years. Her affair woke her up and made her realize that life is precious.
Note: To build a happy and healthy family, husband who is so obsessed with his work should change and pay more attention to his partner and family, while wife with workaholic husband should communicate their needs timely instead of cheating.
When he cheats first
Larie Norvell cheated on her husband because he cheated on her one year into their marriage. The 33-year-old was hurt and angry. She cheated for revenge and validation from other men. They separated for some months when her husband discovered the affair but sought counseling to save their marriage. Now they are still working things out but it is never easy to get over such kind of things.
Note: In case of unfaithfulness, couples should seek counseling and honest communication first instead of seeking revenge.