Did you fall face flat on the floor in front of your crush and the question is how to stop obsessing? Or perhaps you get anxious over minute details of life? Either way, we are here to offer you some tips on how to stop obsessing over everything that are aimed to make you more comfortable in your own skin and increase your self- esteem and confidence. Here are the nine effective ways to get over social anxiety.
9 Effective Ways to Stop Obsessing over Everything
Name your fear
Naming your obsessions and recognizing them for what they are is the first step to healing and possibly the most important tip on how to stop obsessing over everything. If you are likely to obsess over failure, then name your fear of failure. This will help you become aware of what is bothering you and knowing your enemy is your way to freedom. A helpful technique is to write about it in detail. Understand what the causes of your current situation are, be it traumatic past events or just your introversion. Pen it down, even make it a list. Exteriorize it with every occasion.
Realize you’re not god
Thinking that you should be doing so much more than you are is part of the god complex. This is the way evolution is trying to make us better and improve ourselves, but you should not let it consume you. If you constantly put yourself under pressure and try to be perfect, that will only cause you stress. All your energy will go into that instead of being used for something better, like doing something actually worth it, or something that has the potential to turn into an achievement. You are not flawless? Well, no one is. Anyone trying to convince you he is perfect is just a narcissist.
Be more lenient to yourself
Part of the God syndrome is being harsh to yourself over small imperfections and punishing yourself for it. Your late night insomnia, staying awake and thinking about every little embarrassing detail of today is your brain’s way of trying to fix things. Imagining what should have been said or done is a mechanism that helps you improve your reactions for the next time, but does it really help by changing the past? No, it doesn’t. It’s just punishment. Learn to forgive yourself and focus on the positive sides of your personality. Fight your overthinking habit by counting your achievements.
Keep yourself occupied
Stay actively engaged with something else when you feel like you’ll start overthinking again. It may be difficult at first, because the first thinking process may counteract the second, but be decided about it and compel yourself stay focused on the task at hand. Choose your task such that it is intellectually stimulating and enjoyable and will be easier to keep working on it. You can even try to do something relaxing, like reading a book or taking a walk. But you’ll need to find something that keeps your mind occupied.
Devise a plan and meditate
Admit that you have a problem, but keep in mind that everything changes with time. What Scarlet O’Hara in “Gone with the Wind” used to do to avoid overthinking was to postpone it for another time. “I will think about this tomorrow”, she said. Put it on your active to-do list to postpone obsessing over details every time it hits. A very good brain training method is meditation. If you manage to condition your brain to stop overthinking, this will become more and more easy and finally a second nature. Meditation requires you to empty your mind, so it is the perfect tool to help you fight obsessive thinking.
Do some soul searching
Some of your stress may be caused by past life events. Sometimes, these past events may trigger associations between them and the present moment. If you catch yourself thinking that “This is just like what happened when I was a kid and everybody laughed at me”, then there’s your culprit. Put these past traumatic events on your list of fears. Confront them and become free of the unwanted baggage.
Practice visualization techniques
Visualization techniques are another great way to condition your brain into thinking something else than it naturally does now. They are a powerful weapon against anxiety. Think about the situation that bothered you and imagine yourself as being transparent, so no one can see you. Tell yourself that it did not, in fact, happened. The more you think about it that way, the lighter the burden will become.
Understand how you distort the situation
Psychologists realized that it is often the case that people think about situations in a way that makes them worse than they actually are. At the same time, people with low levels of confidence and self esteem often tend to minimize their achievements and think that they are not important. But you know what? All the famous people out there are known for their accomplishments. You heard about Einstein, but did you ever hear about that guy who did something really stupid at the senior ball? Was that on TV? No. Neither will be your broken heel or the spilling coffee scene.
Laugh about it
This is our favorite how to stop obsessing tip. Recall how in Harry Potter the kids are taught the Riddikulus spell to counteract dark magic? When the children look at the boggart in the closet, their fears actually transform it into something else, in that case something as bad as a Dementor. Make it your habit to look at the situation from outside and find something funny about it. Laughing about it is indeed a potent magic spell that will turn your most embarrassing moments into ridiculous harmless stories. Talk to your funniest friend about it and let him or her banish the demon by making it into fun and jokes.