In the modern life, many factors make people become more selfish, especially in the relationship. If they want something, they try everything to obtain it without thinking of other people’s feeling. Selfishness is considered as a bad personality because it can hurt other people and ruin a good relationship. It is hard to maintain a good relationship or live a happy life if you are selfish. Unfortunately, a person with selfishness does not know he or she is selfish. Selfishness results in loneliness and unhappiness. It is time for you to change yourself before you end a good relationship with your good friends and your lover. In this article, I would like to introduce to you the effective tips on how to stop being selfish and start living a happy life. Following these tips, you are able to make friends with a lot of interesting people and maintain a good relationship. If you are humble, kind and unselfish, many people are willing to help you when you need it.

How to Stop Being Selfish - Effective Tips You Can Apply


Do Not Put Yourself First

It is the first tip on how to stop being selfish. Selfish people always put themselves first, which makes other people angry and upset. Now, you have to change it if you are looking for a new life with freedom, joyfulness, and happiness. The next time you want to be “the priority”, you should wait for a while and think of important matters and your true decision. 

Put other people first. Let them talk about what they want and what they need. For example, give the elderly and pregnant women the seat when you are on the bus. Let children order their lunch first when they are really hungry. It is important for you to keep in mind that every people are special and they deserve to get what they need.

If you find it is difficult to do this, you can make it your habit. First, make a list of 5 practical goals and situations in which you put yourself last. Increase the number of your goals and situations the following weeks.


Know that Everyone Is as Special and Important as You

People with selfishness always think that they are more important than others and the world has to go around them. You need to get rid of that thought. You should think that everyone is as special and important as you. Each person has their own strengths, talents, and specialties. If you want to make people like you, be modest and humble. You are just a tiny component in a large world filled with a lot of amazement. Do not think that you are the best.


Put Yourself in Other’s Shoes

When you are about to hurt someone, you should put yourself in their shoes first. You should think about what he or she is going through and how he or she feels in every situation. You should practice from time to time until you are familiar with it and become more empathetic.

Everyone makes mistakes. If your colleague makes a small mistake at work and you feel want to yell at him, think about how he feels first. Maybe, he is tired or not in a good mood. If he expresses his penance, it is your turn to give him a chance to fix his mistake. Do not be selfish and rude by making his day worse.



It is a great idea if you can participate in some kinds of social activities like volunteering. Helping others who need your help is a right way to get rid of selfishness. If you want to look for good opportunities to help others, try volunteering. You can see a new world filled with empathy, kindness, and happiness. You may recognize that you are more fortunate than a lot of people who are unhealthy, needed, disabled, and homeless. Volunteering transmits meaningful expressions and connections to others. Helping others makes you feel happier.


Have a Pet

People who have a pet at home are less selfish than others who do not. When the survival of someone depends on you, you may have a strong feeling of helping and sharing the love. Get a cute puppy or kitty, walk with it, feed it and spend time playing with it. A pet may help you get rid of selfish thoughts.


Take Criticism

No one wants to hear the criticism. However, it is undeniable that taking criticism is a right way to improve yourself and stop selfishness. Selfish people always think that they are doing right and they are the best. They feel angry when someone gives them feedback. Stop doing that if you want to become a good person. You should know which criticism is useful for you. Take that criticism to improve yourself.


Learn to Listen

Selfish people are the bad listeners. Because of their own desires and ambitions, they do not have time to talk with their partners. They are not willing to listen to what their partners are telling them. If you are the one who controls every conversation and goes away whenever your partners want to talk, you should change yourself. Being a good listener shows how you are interested in the talk. When they share their experiences, lives, health problems and interests, do not interrupt them. Just listen and ask some question related to the topic they are talking.


Join a Team

Instead of working individually, why do not you join a team? Everyone in a team has the same position. They work together for the individual’s needs and the whole team’s needs. A team can not be successful and progressive if someone in the team is selfish. If you are a leader, your responsibility is to balance the needs of the individual and the whole team.


Say “Thank You”

Do not think that the best treatment is for you and the last one is for others. Do not expect the kindness from someone. But if they help you, you should feel grateful and say ‘thank you” to them.


Remember Special Days

Selfish people often forget the special days like their lover’s birthdays. That may hurt your partners and make them feel uncared. It is important for you to remember the important special days such as their birthdays and your anniversarys. It shows how you care about them. Forgetting special days is a sign of your selfishness even when you say sorry for that.


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