With a 1 in 10 Americans showing signs of a narcissistic personality disorder at least once in their life and 30% of the young people classified as narcissistic after taking tests, it’s no wonder you’re looking for how to manipulate a narcissist tips. After all, if you’re stuck in the same office with this kind of person, you have to adapt and be able to handle their inflated egos. Sometimes, nothing short of manipulation can get you that report you need by 5 p.m.
The Ultimate 9 Tips to Manipulate a Narcissist
Identify the problem
The most important part is identifying them and accepting you have a problem. So know how to spot them. The narcissist is that person with an inflated sense of self and an exaggeratedly good opinion about his own achievements. Way too easy to hurt, they will blackmail you emotionally. They can’t be ignored or criticized, and they love setting unrealistic goals, especially when they can use and abuse others to reach those goals. Finance attracts them very often, because it is a field where they can take risky decisions on spot without any regard for the others. They are obsessed with themselves, and they try to humiliate and shame others. Rage is another common reaction, especially in response to criticism. They can’t maintain meaningful relations, want the best of everything, and have a strong sense of entitlement.
Be careful how you raise your kids
Children and teenagers have fresh and emotional personalities easy to throw into the narcissism pool. Excessive praise or excessive criticism on a regular basis can slowly turn them into future narcissists. Emotional abuse or neglect will have the same effect, but it is difficult to set an exact threshold for these. It’s safest to say that creating a nurturing environment and being careful about both praise and criticism will do. This is not a how to manipulate a narcissist tip, but very important for the future of society.
Be aware of what narcissists really are about
And that is themselves. They don’t really like you, want to get to know you, or care about you. If a narcissist asks personal questions, it’s most likely not because they genuinely care but because they have an agenda. Respond like a politician, with limited information and only saying what’s safe to say. If they invite you somewhere, be sure they will want something in return sooner or later.
Be aware of the narcissistic rage
To protect yourself, you need to know that you can become a lightning rod for their rage if you dare ask for something normal, like payment for your services. This was the case of a guy who dared repeatedly mail and finally call a narcissist to remind him that he didn’t pay the bill. He got fired. Present your concerns as mild praise, depending on the situation and don’t remind them they’re not as great as they think.
Lead the conversation
While that’s hard to do with a narcissist around, try to get out of their self-centered conversations the minute you see them happening. They will try to guilt trip you into listening, but you should know better than to comply. Always remind yourself that they are not normal people and it’s not possible that they are right “this time”. They are only manipulating you, as they always do.
Learn how to say no
A very important aspect of how to manipulate a narcissist is learning to say no in a way that will not get you an emotional blackmail. When they try to pass their work to you again, you should say no. But say it in a way that sounds like a compliment. For instance, you can say “Oh, but you do that report so much better than I ever could! That’s why the boss always wants you to do them – and he can tell which one of us worked on them.” See, it’s the huge difference in quality between your respective works that simply doesn’t allow you to do his job.
Never let them guilt trip you
As part of their manipulation arsenal is the emotional blackmail of those around them. They use it as a weapon to hut others intentionally and to get what they want. Don’t let them touch you and don’t internalize the blame they are trying to place on you. This is also good for spotting them among normal people – if you know you’re not to blame and they try to make you think you’re the crazy one, you should know that this is called projection. Narcissists project their own personality disorder onto others, so that they don’t have to face it in themselves. Make your way out of the situation by telling them how important their feedback is to you and that you’re thankful to them for pointing that out.
Don’t enable them and set boundaries
If you enable their behavior, their normality will slowly take the place. Soon, you’ll find yourself thinking that you’re selfish if you oppose to them and that they are normal. Protect yourself and those around you by finding ways to go around the behavior. For example, avoid conflict by terminating the conversation. Sugarcoat your way into refusing what they ask for. Just like psychopaths, narcissists can be very charming, which makes it difficult for you to stand up to them. But once you’re aware of their act, never assume good faith again.
Don’t go into relationships with them
This one might be the best choice instead of asking how to manipulate a narcissist. Their superficial charm always gets people into relationships with them. But don’t fool yourself, as they can’t maintain meaningful social connections. They will not change, so don’t hope for that. If you’re caught in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, the only thing you can do is to cut your losses and leave. They talk down to you and treat you like you are nothing, so remind yourself of your worth through other activities. Here we don’t mean cases when your partner has a few narcissistic traits and bouts every now and then, but really cares. Such people can adjust for the sake of others. Real, fully-blown narcissists won’t. For the sake of your mental health, just leave.