How to Make You Feel Cool

Ordering a cocktail without consulting the menu.

Taking a cafetiere into a meeting (and plunging it).

Withdrawing more than £100 at a cash machine.

Using a complicated sequence of keyboard shortcuts.

Being recognised by an attractive woman on the street in the company of your friends.

Potting two balls in a row during a game of pool, then asking for the chalk.

Pulling out a copy of the The Times on the tube while everyone else is scanning The Metro.

Popping to the garage for a pack of fags on your way to a party while wearing a tuxedo.

Answering any request from your boss with ‘I sent you that last week’.

Buying the non-sale item in a place with an end-of-season sale on.

Guiding a group of late night drinkers to the only dive still open with a nonchalant: ‘Follow me, I know a place’.

Transcending the drudgery of the supermarket shop by carefully selecting cheeses from the deli at the back.

Folding the pages of a newspaper with ninja-like speed and precision.

Passing through the gates of the tube without breaking your stride.

Cracking an egg with one hand.

Smoking a cigarette at any time between the hours of midnight and 4am.

Going behind a bar, even if you work there.

The moment of fame when your name is called out in a waiting room.

Strolling confidently away from a shop counter after handing over the exact change. No need to wait around – you know it’s right.