There’s no denying that a lot of people today spend the most of their time with their friends. And of course, where there are friends, there are bound to be best friends, especially among tweens and teens. People sometimes enter your life without your control, but you decide who's going to stay, and who's going to leave. And once you’ve found someone you think is a good friend to you, you should hold on to them for dear life. But how do you do that? If you’re completely, clueless, don’t worry. You’ve come to the right place and just read on.
How to Make a Best Friend
Never gossip about your friend
Gossip is primarily talking about the negative characteristics, faults or situations of other people. It focuses intentionally or unintentionally on the negativities of other individuals without any valid reason. It is, unfortunately, a part of an everyday conversation. Some people say that it's harmless fun, but this is always not true because gossips, lies and rumors really hurt. So just distance yourself from it, especially if gossip about your friend is involved.
Don’t use harsh words
If you're sensitive enough during your communication with other people, it can be a huge advantage. Otherwise, your speech could seem like a personal attack. If you want to say things straightforward, then focus on a particular behavior, not the whole personality. Keep in mind that wanting and seeking favorable relations and people who love considerate and warm communication is normal. Real friends don't want you to feel bad about yourself. Therefore, communicate with kind words and focus on the mutual interests, not the differences. That's the proper way on how to make a best friend.
Avoid pointless arguments
Real friends know that there is nothing less productive than starting an argument in which you cannot win. Be aware that you should be ready to accept your friends as they are, whether you agree with them or not. People have always been different from each other in certain aspects. However, that doesn't mean that you can't have friends with whom you disagree. It's recommended to have friends with whom you don't sometimes agree because that can put things into perspective. But if you want to argue, do it with respect.
Be ready to lend an ear to their stories
Research shows that most said things are ignored, misunderstood and very quickly forgotten. The ability to fully understand the deepest meaning of what someone told us is incredibly hard to master. Listening is not easy, but it's a powerful tool that allows us to avoid later disagreements by understanding what another person said. Remember the feeling when you were talking to someone about something important and discovered that someone didn't even listen to you, they just responded automatically and mechanically. Fair and balanced friendship can't exist if one person always talks but never listens.
Encourage them to achieve their goals
Everyone has a lot of dreams and goals to be realized. But a lot of people aren't motivated enough to act accordingly and achieve their aims. Besides, they're often not sure how to achieve their goals. So another way on how to make a best friend is to offer real feedbacks without fake words if you consider it necessary for your friends' personal development. But never do it in a cruel or insensitive way. Instead, try to offer constructive and helpful tips that will inspire your friend.
Keep in mind that no one is sinless
People usually don't find it easy to admit that they made some mistakes in their lives. The way in which people remember their past can sometimes affect their present decisions. Focusing on the past behaviors may have a destructive effect. So you should be very careful if you require someone to dig through their past. For example, if your friend is brave enough to reveal a few mistakes from their past, that certainly shouldn't affect your general opinion about them. You’re not perfect either. So you should offer support and express gratitude for their willingness to open up.
Support them in trouble
If you're wondering how to make a best friend by providing a proper support when they're in trouble, then just have in mind that problems aren't always unsolvable as they look. If you tell your friend how they should feel, it might make them confused or worse, angry at you for discrediting their feelings. They need compassion, not pity. Encourage your friend to focus on solving problems, rather than on self-pity. No matter what your friend decides, you should respect their decision. You tried to help, and that's the end of your role.
Don't be jealous of their success
We often see things that someone else owns and wish them for ourselves. If we see someone who is happy, it saddens us, especially if we think that we don't have enough happiness in our life. However, we need to know that the jealousy and envy are the most unproductive emotions that directly affect our mood and spoil us. A jealous person has many assumptions and doesn't see a clear picture. Real friends don't waste their time on being jealous. They know that it's much more productive to be happy for other people's success.
No need to judge them
Judgment occurs when we see some traits in other people that don't comply with our learned set of rules and our vision of goodness and beauty. Any behavior that's not in agreement with our established patterns of behavior is subject to condemnation. Although we think our opinion is objective, it's far from it. Judgment occurs spontaneously, almost instinctively. Judging others limits us, draws energy, narrows the field of our consciousness and prevents our maturity. Tolerance, observation, and flexibility are the path to healthy relationships and personality development.
Don't take your friendship for granted
A smart thing to remember about how to make a best friend is not to take your friendship for granted. Real friends don't look at your relationship as a short-term affair that can be left out as soon as "something better" appears out there. They see it as a long-term commitment of great importance. Having a real friend doesn't mean just drinking tequila or watching silly videos on YouTube together. You should also stay with your friend during their hard times. They will surely appreciate your honesty and loyalty.