At some point in your relationship, your girl might tell you that she needs a break. Men don’t take this matter lightly but it comes up anyway. When it happens, it is very important that you respect her reason for seeking separation and let her find what she is looking for. But this is not a time for you to just sit and watch but you should do all that is within your power to sort out the matter and win your girl back. Here are important things to take note of in such a situation.
Girlfriend Wants a Break: What Does It Mean?
While babies develop tantrums and tend to hold their breath, women will use this old trick of "wanting a break". Normally, this is to manipulate their partner in order to get what they need, for example, when you fear making commitments and she is looking forward to having a king-size wedding with the best of what she likes.
- Your girlfriend is a very independent person and feels that she is smothered in your relationship. When it gets to this point, she will ask for a break.
She wants to modify your character, especially if you don’t treat her well. She will stick to this decision in a way like that she is grounding you by canceling all the privileges you got from her until when she feels you have changed.
In the worst case, she wants a breakup but doesn't want to make it that blunt and straightforward. It could be a coward way of going out of the relationship. In this case, you should be alert and do something to get back together with her.
Girlfriend Wants a Break: What Can You Do?
Calm down before responding
It is always a hard thing to take in but when your girlfriend asks for a break, it doesn’t directly mean that it’s over between you and her. So, instead of being fearful and desperate, stay calm, be composed and listen to what she has to say. Take the time to introspect about yourself and your relationship so as to figure out what she really wants and how to level up your relationship.
Avoid being paranoid
Don’t keep pondering over why she needs a break. Your girlfriend is just as complex as you are and the reasons for the break may be quite a number. If you keep guessing what it could be, you will definitely end up with the worst assumption. This will make you sad, angry, jealous or desperate and may even make you crazy and do destructive things which will worsen the situation.
Do not accuse her
This is a very tricky moment for both of you. Don’t act in a manner that suggests you are holding her in suspicion. Don’t accuse her of having a plan to work out something against you. Most importantly, don’t get jealous and think that she is going out with someone else. If you do this, things may get out of control because it damages the trust between you two, shaking the foundation of your relationship.
Ask for deadline
Ask about the timeline of the break she needs and as her partner, you have the right to ask for this. She might not sure about which date the break should be ended, but having a deadline gives something for both of you to work towards.
If your girlfriend wants a break short or long, you'd better get her to agree on making time for calls, coffee, lunch, dinner or movies to decrease the possibility of losing full contact. Since she initiates the break, she might be reluctant to contact you first, so take the initiative and keep in touch with her constantly.
Use the time to improve
In such moments, take time to reinvent your personality. Discover other qualities that define you. This is a good thing to do in order to re-establish your relationship that is taking a break. This way, you will be able to show that you are not just waiting for her to finish her business but doing something positive to strengthen this relationship. Additionally, it will make you feel good in the end because you become a better person.
Don’t get to the point of letting her off. She only asks for a break and some "me" time. This is not the time for you to burn bridges and become despondent. Sometimes, it is not about her but you. Therefore, be brave enough to check yourself and make efforts to right the wrongs and give her more faith in you and the relationship.
If you girlfriend wants a break and keeps pushing you away and if there is a chance for you, you may consider moving on. Maybe you could come across a more compatible partner than her. If you find your girlfriend hard to understand in such a situation, dating someone new may help you look at things in a new angle. The only important thing for you is to be sure of what you are doing.