Being cheated on in a relationship is one of the most painful experiences and even the strongest painkillers cannot relieve the pain. What do you do when your cheating partner shows genuine remorse, asks for forgiveness and asks for another chance to be with you? If you are considering getting back with a cheating ex, here is a guide to help you make the right decision.
Should I Get Back With a Cheating Ex?
If you two were engaged
Some men cheat just before a major transition in a relationship, which will require their long-term commitment. For instance, a man may cheat just after moving in with you or after your engagement. Such guys view cheating as their last chance to slip away before making a major commitment. Interestingly, the cheating can be a sign that he is serious about a long-term relationship. Such cheaters do not slip away more than once. So if the cheating ex fiance comes back for forgiveness and a second chance, you probably should give it a shot.
If he confessed right away
If you are thinking about getting back with a cheating ex, think back if he confessed and apologized immediately after the cheating. If he did, that is a positive signal because it is uncommon for a man to admit he cheated. Most of them keep their sin a secret. A confession means that he acknowledged that it was a huge sin and was crying for help. He wanted you to decide the outcome to show you that he would never cheat again.
You can try to forgive him and get back together because you shouldn't sentence someone to death just for one mistake, especially when he voluntarily turns himself in. But do set and enforce new guidelines in your relationship. He will follow them if he values you and your relationship.
If pressure was the culprit
Women watch their favorite TV shows or surround themselves with their closest friends when going through stressful situations. Men express their stress through anger and sex. A man may decide to hook up with another woman when going through a rough time because he does not want to burden his girl with his issues.
If this type of cheating ex comes back and you are considering getting back together, make it clear to him and to yourself that you will end the relationship if it happens again. At the same time, assure him that you will not think less of him if he does something that erodes his ego such as getting fired or messing up at work.
If he was drunk
Consider getting back with a cheating ex if he was drunk when slipping up. This is not a good reason to cheat but it is not the worst thing that can happen. Guys who cheat when drunk are immature and the good news is that they mature up.
When there was just no excuse
Any man can cheat including the one who returns all your calls, sends flowers, and makes your friends jealous. Cheating can happen in any relationship but couples can survive the slip up. Resist the urge to revenge or anger him. Do not get anxious when he does not call you. Forgive him if you can and then move on. Give him a second chance if he does not slip up again and win your trust and heart back.
Breakup may be the best option when
He cheated on you with his ex: This indicated that the two may get back together, making you an outsider even when you were in a relationship with him. So you really think that he will be committed when you are his ex now.
He did not slip up but had an affair: One night stand is just one forgivable stupid mistake but an affair is way worse, showing he's not taking you seriously.
He is not remorseful about it: This one needs no more explanation. Just dump that scumbag.
You have been dating for a short period: At the beginning of a relationship, we all want to display the best of us. If he cheats at the beginning, what can happen later on?
He does it over and over again: A repeat cheater is unlikely to change even if he says he will.
How to Be a Sweet Couple Again with a Cheating Ex
Give yourself time
When your ex comes back, do not rush into giving cheap forgiveness and get back together due to residue feelings, past memories, or tired being alone. You should give yourself time to process this twist and make sure your ex is sincere. Try to imagine a happy ending for you two to make you confident in your decision.
Make the decision willingly
Getting back with a cheating ex is not easy. You must be willing to let go of all the negative emotions and move forward with this man who has hurt you in the past. You should be willing to learn to love and trust again.
Reflect on yourself
Sometimes both partners in a relationship are to blame for an affair. The unfaithful partner should take the responsibility undoubtedly, but the hurt partner should also think about his or her role in that cheating. Both partners should change and compromise to some extent to make the relationship work this time. For example, if you were too bossy or too focused on work, then be soft and spend more quality time together.
Beat that insecurity
Relationships give people confidence and a sense of security. And insecurity sets in fast when the bond breaks. Instead of developing a negative self-image and worrying about the future of this relationship, consider yourself a beautiful woman who deserves a happy ending. Besides, letting your partner win your trust will help a lot. For example, plan a trip and feel how considerable and thoughtful he can be during the journey to assure yourself.