When you love someone, you don’t want to lose them. The fear of losing someone you love is very common – in fact, all of us might feel it at one point or another in our lives. Remember that fear is a biological mechanism that begs us to react. But how can you react to a fear of loss if there is nothing you can do, and if everything seems to be just fine?
In the end, remember that the fear of losing someone you love is actually a normal reaction. But when it starts to overcome the rest of your life, then the fear of loss has become a big problem.
How to Overcome the Fear of Losing Someone
Know that it’s quite normal
There is actually a name for this kind of fear that overwhelms you. It’s called ‘thantophobia.’ That’s the fear of losing someone, and it can be so strong that it takes over everything about you and your relationship with that person.
Again, remember that the fear of losing someone is normal. We all feel it from time to time, even if there is no legitimate reason. We just feel the fear because that person is so wonderful, and we love them so much, that life without them is unthinkable.
Recognize death and loss is a part of life
There are certain things that happen to everyone during their lifetime, and dealing with death is definitely one of those things. At some point, someone you love will pass away or otherwise leave you. This will happen, no matter what. Recognize that it is something you must deal with.
Stop trying to control things
Though it can be tough, remember that many things in life are out of your control, including the fear of loss. We are all vulnerable to losing someone, and though it can be tough to think about, it does happen. The more you accept that you can’t control the future, the more you will relax and live in the here and now.
Do what you can to make the best of it
Spend time with that person. Make every moment with them special. Say all the things you need to say, and then some. Never let the fear of loss keep you from being as close to that person as you can possibly be.
Write down your fears
Now is the time to talk about what you are feeling. Put your thoughts down in a journal. By airing your worries in this format, you can vent some of your fear of losing someone and possibly work through it without going through any further angst.
Live in the moment
The truth is this: life can change on a dime. What is happening in your life today might be completely different tomorrow. So embrace the time you have right now, and live in the moment as much as you can.
Trust that you can cope
A big part of that fear of loss is worrying how you will carry on if it happens. But you are stronger than you think you are. Simply ask someone who has gone through it, and they will tell you that the strength you need is there.
Trust that life goes on
It might feel impossible to move on when something bad happens. It might seem like life ends right there, where the loss occurs. But life does go on, time goes on, and you will go along with it.
Share the fear
If you are dealing with a situation in which you know you will lose someone you love – such as someone you adore having a terminal illness – talk to them and to your other loved ones about your feelings. It’s a sure bet they are going through much of the same fears you are.
Talking to your loved one might help, but professional counseling might go even further in convincing you that this should not control your life.
Remember it is never too late
Even if you do suffer your worst fear of losing someone you love, remember that they live on in your memories and your thoughts. Everything you do is influenced by them. You can take real comfort in that.