I am sure that many little girls' idea of great life is enjoying great supper, buying various snacks, eating it alone or with friends, and watching TV on Saturday nights. Well, if this is not your dream of a happily ever after, being a police wife will be hard for you. Police wives sacrifice a lot to support their husbands' work. Now let's get close to find out how hard the life of a cop's wife is.
Being Married to a Cop Is Hard for Real
Cop wives must be resilient
Wives of police officers must be resilient especially if they have children. They should prepare for unplanned solo parenting. Many times a cop wife will serve hot dinner only for it to get cold as she waits for hours for her husband to get home. The husband may never help with the kid’s bed, dinner, or bath routine. Call-outs after the normal working hours are normal. Hence, a cop wife should be prepared to attend school activities alone and help the children understand their father’s job.
Holidays are never the same
Holidays are the busiest times for police officers who spend all their time working instead of traveling with their families. So, police wives spend holidays alone with their children and cannot join other families on trips and vacations. Cop wives should expect anything on holidays and prepare to have fun in absence of their husbands.
Police officers are always on duty
Working as a police officer is a lifestyle choice. They are always on duty mentally even outside their working schedule, must have their IDs at all times and respond to public situations timely. Police officers are hypervigilant because they must remain physically and mentally prepared for different scenarios to save other people’s lives and their own lives. Since It is impossible for police officers to relax completely, cop wives should learn to accommodate the hypervigilance and understand that their husbands may be distracted.
Police officers may meet criminals in public places
Being married to a cop is hard because sometimes he has to hide when he spots a person he has dealt with or arrested before. He may leave his family suddenly in the middle of a shopping trip or family day out. Police wives should expect such scenarios and understand that their husbands are trying to protect them. They do not want criminals to know their families and attack them when they are unprotected. Spouses must agree on what to do in such scenarios such as calling each other or meeting in specific places.
Being a cop is dangerous
Cop wives must accept that their husband’s job is dangerous. They must learn not to worry about the dangers involved. Cops need to know that their wives are not worried about them while at work. Cops need to know that they can rely on their wives for support. Cop wives must also realize and accept that they could lose their husbands to suicide. Police officers require emotional support from their wives even if they do not share all the details of their jobs with their wives.
Cop wives must get used to a commanding communication style
Wives of police officers must realize that their husbands are trained to command presence, and must realize that cops solve conflicts differently. Cops are likely to use an authoritative voice while arguing with their wives. In fact, they may not be aggressive but just commanding. So, spouses must learn how to communicate their needs in a healthy way. Wives must also realize that the only training their husbands may have received was on how to control people and situations. They are not trained how to handle conflicts with their wives in the right way.
Cops can't separate their personal and professional lives
Being married to a cop is hard also because, at times, it feels like living in a fishbowl. Many police officers are unable to separate their profession from their personal lives. They constantly answer questions about their professional and requests for advice while off duty. People around will always try to seek your man's opinion on situations such as police shooting and criminal cases.
Cop wives has to bear the pain of the job
Cops see, hear, experience, and feel the turmoil and chaos that come with their job. The pain of the job affects them and they carry this effect home. The effect manifests as distrust, anger, frustration, impatience, and grief. Cop wives have to bear the fear and sorrow of seeing their strong, stoic, and trained husbands cry.
The job affects the children
Children worry about their father's safety while at work especially when dangers are obvious. For instance, bomb threat in areas where their father works will cause children to worry. The Wife must learn how to reassure their children that their father is safe when his safety is threatened. Wives must learn not to worry, or at least hide their worries, about their husbands, otherwise they can pass on the worry to their children.
Cops’ shifts and schedule change all the time
Another reason why being married to a cop is hard is the ever-changing shifts and schedules. The working hours change just when the family is getting into a normal routine with the current schedule. These changes make cop wives frustrated and annoyed. However, wives can do nothing but learn to expect and adjust to the inevitable changes in shifts.